So began what I affectionately refer to as The Year of Dating 2022. I met a lot of men online, even though at ﬁrst I was completely opposed to it. I had some varied results, as is to be expected I suppose. Interestingly, the results changed for me over the course of the year, in 3 “phases”.
During phase one I was entirely out of control. Well to a degree. All I wanted was to feel that “high”. You know, the baiting, the hook, that ﬁrst touch, kiss….etc. etc. It was like a game. It was thrilling! It made me feel sexy again. Wanted. Until it didn’t. I got my heart hurt. A couple of times. So I stepped back, assessed my behavior and went back in for phase two. It was better. I felt like an advanced player. I knew a little more about what to do and what not to do. I created rules for myself. After a couple of months, I was crying again, cursing the whole process.
It took me a few weeks, after swearing I wasn’t going “out there” again, to enter phase three. This time I totally changed up my approach. I looked at it more like an experiment. I chose not to care as much. I decided to stand in my own power more. The craziest thing happened! The men that started to message me and seek me out were altogether different than the ones before that. The conversations were more intelligent, more substantial, and the “creepy” guys virtually disappeared. What??? What WAS this magic? Phase 3 turned out to be much more fun and I felt so much better about myself while dating during this time.