Well, at the end of the Year of Dating 2022 I did quite a bit of reﬂecting. What came to me in a very clear way was that in that last “phase” I showed up completely differently than I had before. My energy was not that of a woman needing a man. It was conﬁdent, relaxed and in fact more authentic. I chose to respect myself more than the man on the other side of the chat box. If something, anything, felt “off”, either I didn’t respond or I deleted/blocked the person.
What I learned is this: YOU choose how to show up online for potential dates. If you want to sleep around and not expect much from your matches, then post sexy extra cleavage pics and ﬂirt a lot. Don’t be shy. You’ll get exactly what you want. (No judgment here by the way. I ran that course.) But if you are looking for a life partner or someone to really value you as you and not just a play thing, then you MUST communicate that through your words, pictures and energy online. It is ALL about what you put “out there”. It will come back to you like a big ass, in your face mirror. And be honest about what you want. I’ve heard from a lot of men that women online say things like “No hookups” but then they post revealing pics and send suggestive messages to them. That isn’t honest. It’s manipulative. Don’t do it.
Online dating is what you make of it. Decide what you want. Communicate that in a genuine way. Create some guidelines for what you are willing to allow in a conversation, a date, and beyond. Honor your decisions and guidelines. (You can change your rules whenever you want to of course.) Remember to stand in your power. Then have fun!